To the people following my blog

Thankyou guys, I barely started my blog and at first I thought it was private, for myself but it makes me happy to see I gained a couple of followers. As you can see I wrote most of those when I was intoxicated, shameful I know but I was sad but once I get my laptop fixed I’m going to edit them and start blogging again! I hope what you read on here helps you atleast a little bit in life even if it’s just once! That’s all I want! I know I talked about my personal problems but like I said I thought it was private, I was just confused in how this works 

I hate seeing post where they say, I feel bad for those that don’t have a good relationship with their mothers/family/ sisters, like we feel sorry for ourselves, and that apology doesn’t sound sincere. We’re the ones that feel the pain and sometimes there’s not much that we can do about it, I just don’t ever want to do what my mother is doing to be, but sometimes I feel like I’m worse to my son, he needs more attention from me. At the same time, I feel like I am a good mom but I let my mom manipulate my mind set a lot and that’s something I’m tying to work on. 

It’s so weird how we all look so different when we all have the same features like for example: eyes, ears, mouth, and nose, etc. yet again no one looks exactly like unless you come out the same day. How is it that we look similar to our parents but we can’t look exactly the same? 

Rewrite when sober

You made me feel worse about myself, you made me feel like I wasn’t worthy of someone showing me off, you made me feel like I wasn’t capable to have someone by my side, you made me feel like I would’ve been the worse half in a relationship, and I stucked around to let you make me worthless. People like you never change, it’s turned into a habit that you won’t ever get out of. People like me, hope to change you, hope that you don’t talk to other girls how you would talk to them, hope to be the only one they worry about, hope to end up with you. I don’t understand why, when half of the time they make you feel like you guys were never nothing serious or make because you didn’t have a title on them… I literally stoped talking thinking that way because if a guy cared about you, he wouldn’t make you feel that way, he’ll be there if he wants to be there. Stop wasting your time. You were on point but you started to think about motivating yourself not to go back, you deserve that and much more and he should know. 

Fix when soberĀ 

I blocked off of everything because I just don’t want to hear from you anymore. I don’t want to watch you go everyday doing perfectly fine without me. I don’t want to try to prove that I’m happy without you when I’m really not. I want to show you how much I love and care for you, I want to get to know you in every way, actually spend time with you. Make you understand what your doing is wrong, make you understand that you’ll always have my support. I stuck by your side when others would’ve left. You did me wrong in so many ways but I still just saw the best in you. I saw your flaws but I didn’t want to care. It hurt, but my pain was worth it if it meant to keep you around. But is that okay? No. I need someone that shows me that they need me, they want to have me around. Not just for sex but because they met my soul and that’s what they feel in love with. Someone who gets happy with just seeing me smile. Someone who supports me to do better, someone I can constantly grow with.